Over the past few years, since my diagnosis of HSDD and my time on the clinical trial, I routinely am asked by friends, family and others "how do you know you have HSDD and not just a relationship/stress issue?"
That is a fair and valid question and one which has a clear and simple message.
First, however, let me acknowledge that YES, as a woman, my desire has waxed and waned over the years.
- Having 4 children under the age of 8 will exhaust you and drain any libido right out of you.
- Breastfeeding literally sucks the libido right out of you-when you are up every few hours, who is awake enough for sex?
- A hectic or stressful job will void you of any desire to have sex.
- Certain medical conditions and/or prescription drug therapy plays a major negative role, at times, on our libido and desire for sex.
- Finally, there is no doubt that when your relationship is not healthy-physically or emotionally-you have no desire to have sex.
HSDD is lack of desire for sex IN THE ABSENCE OF any other contributing factors as listed above. It is persistent and lingering, accompanied with distress for which there is currently no medical treatment.
So how is one diagnosed with HSDD?
Another fair and valid question. I can tell you from personal experience that there is a very thorough medical and emotional evaluation before you are slapped with the label of HSDD and with good reason.
Clearly there are times when medicine is not appropriate but a "partner-ectomy" is what the doctor ordered.
Other times a long beach vacation is the right prescription.
However, if you answer similar questions as I've listed below and assign a value to them ( either insignificant, infrequent, often, always, low, medium, high..depending upon the question ), your honest answers will either classify you as one with HSDD or not.
If you do not "qualify" for an HSDD diagnosis, often psychotherapy is prescribed, other medical treatments for specific physical ailments or a call for further evaluation might be determined.
In the end, these questions demand very honest and mindful answers...getting a diagnosis and attempting to treat it with an approved prescription will NOT work if it is not truly HSDD.
Here's a quick example: If you have no desire to have sex with your incredibly sexy and devoted husband but begin to foam at the mouth when Bradley Cooper enters the room, you likely do NOT have HSDD. You likely have a relationship issue.
If however, you are like me and find your husband AND Bradley Cooper extremely handsome and sexy but still do not have the desire to jump EITHER of their bones, you likely have HSDD.
But this diagnosis should be made carefully with a medical doctor.
For more information, visit eventhescore.org.
Here are sample questions divided into three categories: sexual interest, interest when you think about sex and general relationship questions.
The following questions are used to assess your feelings of sexual interest
or desire as well as some other aspects of your sex life.
By sexual desire, it means your interest in having a sexual experience whether alone or with a partner. Sexual
interest involves thoughts, feelings, and/or a willingness to become involved in some sort of sexual activity.
There are
no right or wrong answers
to the questions.
SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP
How satisfied are you with the sexual
aspect of your relationship with your partner?
SEXUAL ACTIVITY ~ NON-SCORED ITEM
Over the past month, approximately how many times did you engage in sexual activity
either alone or with your
partner?
Sexual activity includes sexual
caressing, genital stimulation (including masturbation) or intercourse.
SEXUAL EXPERIENCES
RECEPTIVITY
how often did you accept? When you accepted, what was your
level of enthusiasm?
INITIATION
Over the past month, how frequently did you do anything to encourage sex with your partner?
DESIRE - FREQUENCY
Over the past month, how frequently have you wanted
to engage in some kind of sexual
activity, either with or without
a partner?
How strong was
your desire to engage in sex?
AFFECTION
Over the past month, how often have you wanted
physical affection other
than sex, for example touching, holding, kissing? How intense would
you say was your desire
for physical affection?
DESIRE - SATISFACTION
Over the past month, how satisfied were you with your overall
level of sexual desire/interest?
DESIRE - DISTRESS
Over the past month, when you thought
about sex or were approached for sex, how distressed (worried, concerned, guilty) were you about
your level of desire?
THOUGHTS - POSITIVE
How often have you thought about sex over the past month?
When you thought about sex, what was your level of interest/strength of desire in having sex?
EROTICA
AROUSAL - FREQUENCY
Over the past month, when you had sex, how often did you become
aroused (sexually excited,
wet, lubricated, etc.)?
AROUSAL EASE
Over the past month, when you had sex, how easily did you become aroused (sexually
excited, wet, lubricated, etc.) in response
to sexual stimulation?
AROUSAL CONTINUATION
Over the past month, once you started
to become sexually
aroused, did you want to receive more stimulation? If yes,
how strong was
your desire to be further/more sexually stimulated?
ORGASM
Over the past month, when you had sex, how often did you have an orgasm? How easy was
it for you
to have an orgasm?
GENERAL RELATIONSHIP
How satisfied are you with your relationship as a whole?
THOUGHTS -
NEGATIVE
Over the past month, including
this interview, when you think about having sex, do you feel any of the following negative feelings: turned off, anxious, repulsed, sick?
PAIN
Over the past month, did you experience genital pain during
sex?
MOOD
Over the past month, how has your mood been?
Have you experienced any feelings of: sadness, hopelessness, helplessness,
worthlessness? How often have you had such
feelings?
FATIGUE
Over the past month, did you experience fatigue, tiredness, or loss of energy? How often did you experience fatigue,
tiredness, or loss of energy?
