I texted my husband and said...it's gonna be a great winter to cozy up, Cowboy!! Lucky for him, he loves to hibernate under the covers with me and is a bear at heart! Even luckier that we will have the privilege of experiencing life WITHOUT HSDD again!
Today, after almost 5 years of exhaustive efforts, the FDA approved the first ever prescription drug therapy for women suffering from HSDD - Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder - ADDYI!!!
A moment in HERSTORY for millions of women who have experienced a loss of interest in sex, even when they deeply love their partner!
For the 9 or so months I took ADDYI (flibanserin), my interest in sex returned and I was an equally participative and initiating partner...much like I was for the first several years of our relationship.
No, nothing changed. I wasn't depressed. There was nothing physically wrong. We were emotionally strong and connected. We enjoyed romance and I was comfortable in my own skin - naked and clothed.
But one day, several years into our relationship, my desire to have sex left the building. When HE initiated, sex was great! But if he didn't start, "it" didn't happen.Thankfully, I came across the clinical trial for flibanserin! For those months, my desire was "normalized" to where it had been. Even more importantly, during that time, my husband and I began communicating about sex, interest and desire...the one area of life that previously had been left silent.
For us, ADDYI was relationship saving, life changing...and I hope every woman suffering with low desire and distress will not only consult their physician asap to see if you are living with HSDD but also communicate with your partner. Let them know that what your are experiencing is valid and treatable. Consider your options and choose a path that fits you best.
ADDYI worked for me...for us. I cannot begin to tell you how elated I am that the FDA finally has given it a green light and how forward I look to getting a prescription, heading to the pharmacy and reclaiming my desire!
I am so appreciative of all those who have supported this effort, who share my story and most importantly to my husband who has patiently understood and been by my side as I spoke passionately about this personal matter. He is the real hero, here. Something I will never forget!!
#womendeserve #HERSTORY #eventhescore #ADDYI
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Doubting Desire?
After four long years, today is D DAY!! D E S I R E DAY!!
We are waiting today for the FDA approval of flibanserin - or ADDYI - for low desire in women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.
Yesterday, USA Today published this article and I was disheartened and offended by the COMMENTS submitted at the end...please log on and share your thoughts! Mostly men suggesting that filling women with tequila, buying us expensive shoes, handing us the credit card or wooing us with gifts will "do the trick".
It is sad they think we are so shallow or empty...I for one want to remember and be an active participant in sex with my husband so alcohol is not a desire booster for me!
Monetary gifts, while nice, certainly do not make my loins tingle!
Even words of affirmation, which I adore and are my primary love language, do not "turn my brain on" to want to have sex!
If any of those quick fixes did the trick, I surely would not be championing this approval.
For some, those may work. For me, they did not. Thus the need for a pharmacologic option like ADDYI!
Here's to a long and desire filled fall/winter in our house!!
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/08/16/fda-women-low-libido/31813999/
We are waiting today for the FDA approval of flibanserin - or ADDYI - for low desire in women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.
Yesterday, USA Today published this article and I was disheartened and offended by the COMMENTS submitted at the end...please log on and share your thoughts! Mostly men suggesting that filling women with tequila, buying us expensive shoes, handing us the credit card or wooing us with gifts will "do the trick".
It is sad they think we are so shallow or empty...I for one want to remember and be an active participant in sex with my husband so alcohol is not a desire booster for me!
Monetary gifts, while nice, certainly do not make my loins tingle!
Even words of affirmation, which I adore and are my primary love language, do not "turn my brain on" to want to have sex!
If any of those quick fixes did the trick, I surely would not be championing this approval.
For some, those may work. For me, they did not. Thus the need for a pharmacologic option like ADDYI!
Here's to a long and desire filled fall/winter in our house!!
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/08/16/fda-women-low-libido/31813999/
SPROUTing Desire-it is D Day!!
After years of blood, sweat and tears, today the FDA will issue the final decision on approval of flibanserin, or ADDYI!!
Here is a great journaling of the exhaustive but passionate road to approval!
🎉🎉🎉💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💗💗💗
http://m.fastcompany.com/3049926/the-female-viagra-is-coming-the-story-of-how-it-almost-never-happened
Here is a great journaling of the exhaustive but passionate road to approval!
🎉🎉🎉💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💗💗💗
http://m.fastcompany.com/3049926/the-female-viagra-is-coming-the-story-of-how-it-almost-never-happened
Friday, August 14, 2015
T Minus 4
So, here it is, T minus 4 days until FDA approval of flibanserin...the first drug for women to treat Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder!!
Many critics have argued throughout this journey about the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire.
For those that suffer from both, here is a snapshot of my weekend plans and what it is like to have HSDD.
Today my husband and I leave for Laguna Beach for a weekend getaway at the Montage...a fabulous resort on the beach and as perfect a setting as you can imagine for romance and desire.
As I pack my suitcase with skimpy bathing suits, sexy night attire and miscellaneous "tools of the trade", I am already aware that every piece will be in place to create "responsive" desire.
For years, spontaneous desire flowed easily. One thought of him, one text message, one phone call and I yearned to be with him. For the past several years, that has disappeared. Searching desperately to replace that spontaneous "oomph", we work overtime to create an environment which will trigger responsive desire. And this weekend is just one of many that satisfy the criteria for responsive desire.
Beautiful hotel with ocean front room, cool breeze blowing through the curtains, sun kissed beach beckoning our toes to the water, a nice glass of wine sipped on the balcony as we lazily get ready for dinner....what could possibly go wrong? Why would I NOT feel desire?
Because I have HSDD and in spite of all the triggers which would make any healthy woman salivate with desire, I will likely find myself participating "just because"...because I know once he starts I will arouse, because I love him more than life and want him to feel how much I love him and because I want desperately to want it!
Soon, and very soon, I will have access to ADDYI once again and this whole scenario will have a totally different flavor! Obligatory sex will return to initiative sex, spontaneous desire will return and all the normal "triggers" that boost desire will work as they once did.
How do I know this? Because I TOOK THE ADDYI for 8 months while on the clinical trial and it WORKED for me! I cannot tell you how elated we will both be when we can get back what we once had, what disappeared and what we both find so beautifully intimate and fulfilling....a mutually interactive and participative sex life!
Thank you for all who have supported this process and for anyone suffering with HSDD, your ship is about to come in!!
Stay tuned....
Many critics have argued throughout this journey about the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire.
For those that suffer from both, here is a snapshot of my weekend plans and what it is like to have HSDD.
Today my husband and I leave for Laguna Beach for a weekend getaway at the Montage...a fabulous resort on the beach and as perfect a setting as you can imagine for romance and desire.
As I pack my suitcase with skimpy bathing suits, sexy night attire and miscellaneous "tools of the trade", I am already aware that every piece will be in place to create "responsive" desire.
For years, spontaneous desire flowed easily. One thought of him, one text message, one phone call and I yearned to be with him. For the past several years, that has disappeared. Searching desperately to replace that spontaneous "oomph", we work overtime to create an environment which will trigger responsive desire. And this weekend is just one of many that satisfy the criteria for responsive desire.
Beautiful hotel with ocean front room, cool breeze blowing through the curtains, sun kissed beach beckoning our toes to the water, a nice glass of wine sipped on the balcony as we lazily get ready for dinner....what could possibly go wrong? Why would I NOT feel desire?
Because I have HSDD and in spite of all the triggers which would make any healthy woman salivate with desire, I will likely find myself participating "just because"...because I know once he starts I will arouse, because I love him more than life and want him to feel how much I love him and because I want desperately to want it!
Soon, and very soon, I will have access to ADDYI once again and this whole scenario will have a totally different flavor! Obligatory sex will return to initiative sex, spontaneous desire will return and all the normal "triggers" that boost desire will work as they once did.
How do I know this? Because I TOOK THE ADDYI for 8 months while on the clinical trial and it WORKED for me! I cannot tell you how elated we will both be when we can get back what we once had, what disappeared and what we both find so beautifully intimate and fulfilling....a mutually interactive and participative sex life!
Thank you for all who have supported this process and for anyone suffering with HSDD, your ship is about to come in!!
Stay tuned....
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
It's HUMP day!
Not only is today Wednesday, hump day for the week, but it also marks the final 6 days until FDA approval of the first ever women's prescription for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder!!!
WOOP WOOP
I cannot tell you how excited I am for next Tuesday! I have waited for 4 long years for FDA approval after having the luxury of being on the clinical trial for ADDYI!!
I recently ran across a petition to block FDA approval, sponsored by a group of asexuals, demisexuals and Grey-A's. If you don't know what they are, look it up...pretty interesting.
I was once again frustrated at the lengths to which people will go WHO DO NOT SUFFER from HSDD!!
None of the above 3 groups suffer from HSDD so I am left wondering why they are working to block approval? What are they afraid of and how are they so mis-informed and thoughtless with regards to those of us who do suffer from HSDD.
The notion that I only suffer or experience distress at my lack of desire because I am caving to the "social norm" or is offensive and ridiculous! I neither CARE what the "norm" in society is for frequency/quality of sex nor worry that I don't meet that "norm".
My distress is centered strictly on ME and my HUSBAND. Where I once was an active initiator and eager participant in sex, I now am an obligatory partner who rarely, if ever, initiates. The toll it has taken on me personally is dramatic...on our marriage profound!
It has nothing to do with what society says or doesn't say...just what I feel and what I miss...my desire.
Simply put, I want to want again. I enjoyed being frisky and initiating with my husband. Seeing his reaction to my desire fuels mine even more and the whole experience is intensified for us both! It is a WIN WIN situation for us both.
I could go on for days but to anyone trying to block approval, please DO NOT SPEAK for me or on my behalf. Don't assume that I am caving to societal norms or peer pressure.
My HSDD is real and Addyi made a significant difference when nothing else did.
WOOP WOOP
I cannot tell you how excited I am for next Tuesday! I have waited for 4 long years for FDA approval after having the luxury of being on the clinical trial for ADDYI!!
I recently ran across a petition to block FDA approval, sponsored by a group of asexuals, demisexuals and Grey-A's. If you don't know what they are, look it up...pretty interesting.
I was once again frustrated at the lengths to which people will go WHO DO NOT SUFFER from HSDD!!
None of the above 3 groups suffer from HSDD so I am left wondering why they are working to block approval? What are they afraid of and how are they so mis-informed and thoughtless with regards to those of us who do suffer from HSDD.
The notion that I only suffer or experience distress at my lack of desire because I am caving to the "social norm" or is offensive and ridiculous! I neither CARE what the "norm" in society is for frequency/quality of sex nor worry that I don't meet that "norm".
My distress is centered strictly on ME and my HUSBAND. Where I once was an active initiator and eager participant in sex, I now am an obligatory partner who rarely, if ever, initiates. The toll it has taken on me personally is dramatic...on our marriage profound!
It has nothing to do with what society says or doesn't say...just what I feel and what I miss...my desire.
Simply put, I want to want again. I enjoyed being frisky and initiating with my husband. Seeing his reaction to my desire fuels mine even more and the whole experience is intensified for us both! It is a WIN WIN situation for us both.
I could go on for days but to anyone trying to block approval, please DO NOT SPEAK for me or on my behalf. Don't assume that I am caving to societal norms or peer pressure.
My HSDD is real and Addyi made a significant difference when nothing else did.
Friday, July 31, 2015
Sex DRIVERS
For several years I have been discussing my distress about and struggle with low desire.
I have a wonderful marriage, sexy and attentive husband and absolutely NO problem when it comes to arousal...as long as he starts!
Herein, lies the problem. I used to love to initiate. And when I initiate, it takes him off the hook and creates a wonderfully natural and sensual response...and that is what I miss. Wanting to WANT.
If you ever find yourself trying to be asleep before your partner comes to bed, working yourself to exhaustion in order to have an "out", obliging on a regular basis or worse yet, denying your partner, help is on the way!!
And, if you are trying to determine if you, in fact, have HSDD ( Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder ) or simply a waning of your normal libido, let me try to clarify the difference.
The simple answer is this :
1) If your relationship is otherwise healthy - emotionally
2) If you have no physical ailments or conditions which make sex difficult or uncomfortable
3) If there is nothing to attribute this lack of desire such as 12 small children in your bed at night, an aging parent living with you, a naggy boss....
4) And if you lack desire for sex with your partner and are distressed about it
...then you likely are suffering from HSDD.
Many critics will say, this is normal and that what I need is to be more mindful, to have my husband "set the mood"or treat me better, to have a glass of wine to set the stage, travel to an exotic beach...they call this a lack of "spontaneous desire" and that I, therefore, need to focus on "reactive or responsive" desire by adding the above triggers in order to charge my engine.
My response is, there is not enough wine or an exotic enough beach to turn my light switch back on! My husband is amazing, treats me like a princess, romances me, spoils me and adores my body. If my lack of desire was this easily fixed, I would not be writing this today and continuing to pray for and FDA approved medication to help.
Let's think of it this way. I love donuts. Particularly, Krispy Kreme donuts. For most of my life simply thinking about them coming fresh off the line, warm and sweet, made my mouth water and my stomach rumble. For me, they were more than comfort food...they were reward food!
I didn't need to have them sent to me with a ribbon wrapped around them and a note of affirmation to know that I loved them more than anything and could not wait to get one in my greedy little hand.
"Spontaneous" thoughts of Krispy Kreme donuts or the simple visual stimulation of the lighted up "HOT NOW" sign would get my mouth watering and my tummy screaming for them. What's more, my head got in the game, too, urging me to go forth and conquer!
Non-spontaneous triggers prompted those same responses, too. "Responsive" triggers such as someone plopping a hot glazed dozen donuts on my desk in the morning or my sister delivering a hot glazed batch to the hospital after I gave birth also stirred my loins.
Reactive or spontaneous, donuts did it for me.
Consider what it would be like, though, if suddenly, and for no reason, I lacked the desire for these donuts. Of course, metaphorically speaking. Even knowing how much I adore the taste of them, the thought of the and how I felt when they touched my lips and slid down into my belly, I opted out of them. Sort of like the red light in the "HOT NOW" sign was out permanently.
NO matter how often I "thought" about them, saw the sign or even if someone wrapped a dozen up in a big pink ribbon with an affirmation filled card, my mouth didn't water and I didn't want to eat them or experience them...the "REWARD" I knew and associated with them no longer was enough to prompt me to eat them. Even if right in front of me, I chose to not indulge.
Name your poison or pick your favorite food. What I am trying to illustrate is that no matter how much I love sex with my husband, know how good his touch feels to me, know how my body responds to him and how satisfying sex can be with him, if I lack the desire to start, I will either opt out altogether or simply oblige, which changes the whole dynamic into a carnal act rather than an experience and neither of us are truly satisfied.
Believing that good sex is the coup de gras and the better indicator of a healthy sexual relationship is short sighted to me. What I crave more than good sex is the thought of good sex, the desire building up to it, the spontaneous and sensual build up to it and the mutual, intimate participation. In their absence, it simply becomes an animalistic swapping of bodily fluids. Don't get me wrong, there are times when raw, quick and unadulterated sex is great.
But when that becomes the rule rather than the exception or when that, too, disappears because of shame or distress built from lack of desire, trouble is brewing and you better prepare.
Thankfully, a final approval is due on August 18 for the first ever FDA approved drug for WOMEN who SUFFER from LOW DESIRE or HSDD.
It has been a long and arduous journey since I took my last clinical dose of ADDYI and I cannot wait to get my first official prescription and turn my "HOT NOW" sign back on! For me, ADDYI not only increased our number of sexually satisfying events, it bolstered the frequency of these times and significantly decreased the distress that plagued me night and day. I got my "sexy" on and recaptured my sexual confidence and self-esteem in and out of the bedroom.
19 days and counting....
I have a wonderful marriage, sexy and attentive husband and absolutely NO problem when it comes to arousal...as long as he starts!
Herein, lies the problem. I used to love to initiate. And when I initiate, it takes him off the hook and creates a wonderfully natural and sensual response...and that is what I miss. Wanting to WANT.
If you ever find yourself trying to be asleep before your partner comes to bed, working yourself to exhaustion in order to have an "out", obliging on a regular basis or worse yet, denying your partner, help is on the way!!
And, if you are trying to determine if you, in fact, have HSDD ( Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder ) or simply a waning of your normal libido, let me try to clarify the difference.
The simple answer is this :
1) If your relationship is otherwise healthy - emotionally
2) If you have no physical ailments or conditions which make sex difficult or uncomfortable
3) If there is nothing to attribute this lack of desire such as 12 small children in your bed at night, an aging parent living with you, a naggy boss....
4) And if you lack desire for sex with your partner and are distressed about it
...then you likely are suffering from HSDD.
Many critics will say, this is normal and that what I need is to be more mindful, to have my husband "set the mood"or treat me better, to have a glass of wine to set the stage, travel to an exotic beach...they call this a lack of "spontaneous desire" and that I, therefore, need to focus on "reactive or responsive" desire by adding the above triggers in order to charge my engine.
My response is, there is not enough wine or an exotic enough beach to turn my light switch back on! My husband is amazing, treats me like a princess, romances me, spoils me and adores my body. If my lack of desire was this easily fixed, I would not be writing this today and continuing to pray for and FDA approved medication to help.
Let's think of it this way. I love donuts. Particularly, Krispy Kreme donuts. For most of my life simply thinking about them coming fresh off the line, warm and sweet, made my mouth water and my stomach rumble. For me, they were more than comfort food...they were reward food!
I didn't need to have them sent to me with a ribbon wrapped around them and a note of affirmation to know that I loved them more than anything and could not wait to get one in my greedy little hand.
"Spontaneous" thoughts of Krispy Kreme donuts or the simple visual stimulation of the lighted up "HOT NOW" sign would get my mouth watering and my tummy screaming for them. What's more, my head got in the game, too, urging me to go forth and conquer!
Non-spontaneous triggers prompted those same responses, too. "Responsive" triggers such as someone plopping a hot glazed dozen donuts on my desk in the morning or my sister delivering a hot glazed batch to the hospital after I gave birth also stirred my loins.
Reactive or spontaneous, donuts did it for me.
Consider what it would be like, though, if suddenly, and for no reason, I lacked the desire for these donuts. Of course, metaphorically speaking. Even knowing how much I adore the taste of them, the thought of the and how I felt when they touched my lips and slid down into my belly, I opted out of them. Sort of like the red light in the "HOT NOW" sign was out permanently.
NO matter how often I "thought" about them, saw the sign or even if someone wrapped a dozen up in a big pink ribbon with an affirmation filled card, my mouth didn't water and I didn't want to eat them or experience them...the "REWARD" I knew and associated with them no longer was enough to prompt me to eat them. Even if right in front of me, I chose to not indulge.
Name your poison or pick your favorite food. What I am trying to illustrate is that no matter how much I love sex with my husband, know how good his touch feels to me, know how my body responds to him and how satisfying sex can be with him, if I lack the desire to start, I will either opt out altogether or simply oblige, which changes the whole dynamic into a carnal act rather than an experience and neither of us are truly satisfied.
Believing that good sex is the coup de gras and the better indicator of a healthy sexual relationship is short sighted to me. What I crave more than good sex is the thought of good sex, the desire building up to it, the spontaneous and sensual build up to it and the mutual, intimate participation. In their absence, it simply becomes an animalistic swapping of bodily fluids. Don't get me wrong, there are times when raw, quick and unadulterated sex is great.
But when that becomes the rule rather than the exception or when that, too, disappears because of shame or distress built from lack of desire, trouble is brewing and you better prepare.
Thankfully, a final approval is due on August 18 for the first ever FDA approved drug for WOMEN who SUFFER from LOW DESIRE or HSDD.
It has been a long and arduous journey since I took my last clinical dose of ADDYI and I cannot wait to get my first official prescription and turn my "HOT NOW" sign back on! For me, ADDYI not only increased our number of sexually satisfying events, it bolstered the frequency of these times and significantly decreased the distress that plagued me night and day. I got my "sexy" on and recaptured my sexual confidence and self-esteem in and out of the bedroom.
19 days and counting....
Friday, July 17, 2015
THANK YOU Dr. James Simon for these links and logos!! LOVE them and YES, YES, YES I am struggling with low LIBIDO and want women's "VIAGRA"...although, remember all, it is NOT Viagra!! :-)
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-06-04/female-libido-drug-nears-approval-with-fda-panel-s-backing
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