As it turns out, for me and my husband, ADDYI was far more than a clinical trial drug designed to boost my low libido I was experiencing due to my HSDD in 2009.
Of course, we figured this out several weeks into the trial after we BOTH began noticing that my usual flirty and somewhat suggestive self had returned! This was a welcome surprise to both of us as, for months, we had both been wondering where in the world was my libido!! We thought it would be easier to find WALDO than find my sex drive which had literally left unannounced, without warning and left no forwarding address!
Somewhere along this journey, however, as I began suggesting we skip desert and head home for some alone time, dusted off my collection of sensual and slightly ( ok, maybe genuinely ) naughty nighties and once again left small tokens of my love for him written in lipstick on his mirror or in the front seat of his car as he slept, something else happened.
We started TALKING about sex. Really talking. You already know at this point that I was raised in the deep south as a staunch Southern Baptist, that I was taught sex was pretty much for procreation, not recreation and that men simply need a place but women need a reason. To a degree, so was my husband. So in the early years of our relationship, when things were sexually charged and energized, we really had no need to talk about "it" and besides...it was not natural to discuss such personal and taboo subjects.
But having experienced a year of no urge to recreate, then getting a diagnosis of HSDD, being treated with ADDYI and once again wanting to recreate, we opened the box which held that elephant in the room, set it free and began talking about the issues contained in that can of worms. Much to our surprise and delight, is seemed natural. The first conversation may have been a tad like a first date, awkward with how to bring it up but because we loved each other so completely and once again felt physically connected, it worked.
It was only then that I found out just how much my lack of interest in sex had impacted his ego, his self esteem and literally his masculinity. Silently, he was worried I was no longer attracted to him, angry that I might be seeing someone else and sad that he was unable to articulate that to me. At the same time he began to understand how guilty I had been feeling, how embarrassed I was and to what extent I would go to weasel out of sex in order to NOT make him feel badly. Neither of us were very successful at these unspoken efforts and so our relationship was teetering on the edge of disaster.
From that point on, however, even after the trial stopped and I was without the drug again, we give ADDYI all the credit for opening up many "doors". The door to desire, the door to intimacy and equally as important the door to communication.
Yesterday, 5 years post trial, after Sunday afternoon trip to the gym followed by a quick skinny dip in the pool, we lounged comfortably across from each other wrapped in nothing but our towels and talked as the sun set and the coolness of fall began to breeze across our porch. It was as intimate occasion as I can remember...sex free. Talking about the journey we have been on together for 10 years in total, since the trial, on our visits to the FDA, speaking with countless couples about our experience with HSDD and trying to figure out why the harsh criticism of a drug that we know worked! We spent the better part of the afternoon engaged in an intimate conversation about where we had been, alternate therapies we had tried, with no luck, and how we looked forward to October 17 when ADDYI will be available.
But as we lay across from each other, shame and guilt free, we remarked how grateful we were for the "little pink pill" and all the doors it opened for us. Even though as soon as the trial ended, so did my desire, the intimate conversation continued as did our quest to regularly affirm each other, take regular relationship temperature checks and find alternate ways to express and receive desire when my normal desire was still on vacation.
How lucky are we that we came across this trial, had the benefit of being on the study drug, experienced significant results both in sexually satisfying events as well as dramatic decrease in distress we were BOTH feeling and got that urge in the middle of the day to go leave him something suggestive in his car or text him "Hey, want to HAVE me for lunch today"! It was exhilarating and refreshing and we simply cannot wait to return to that chapter of our life.
We are both thankful to Sprout for it's unending dedication and determination to make this drug available, to Even The Score for helping empower women across the country find their voice, to the FDA for understanding that ADDYI was statistically significant with modest, but not abnormal, side effects and to those who have taken an active role in supporting women everywhere suffering from HSDD.
To couples suffering with HSDD, it is our sincere hope that you will start talking NOW. Before ADDYI is available. Talk to each other, talk to friends, talk to your physician, message me...just talk to reassure each other, to understand what is going on and be proactive at helping yourself as soon as treatment is available.
For us, ADDYI was relationship saving and life changing. An ADDYI A DAY will help keep the distress away!
Monday, August 31, 2015
Friday, August 21, 2015
Oh YE of little faith
Here's a great read if you are threatened or worried about ADDYI!!
http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2015-08-if-you-hate-the-idea-of-female-viagra-so-much-then-dont-take-it/
http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2015-08-if-you-hate-the-idea-of-female-viagra-so-much-then-dont-take-it/
Facts TRUMP Myth Always
No, not Donald Trump!!
For your viewing and reading pleasure...a sampling of interviews and articles which will help you determine for yourself if the benefits of ADDYI outweigh the risks.
As a patient who took ADDYI for 9 months, it is my sincere belief that YES they DO!!
Women are responsible creatures, can be trusted to take medicine as directed!
Yes I am a social drinker and drank alcohol while on the trial.
Yes I took it AT BEDTIME as instructed.
No, I did not faint, throw up or get dizzy.
No, I did not take the pill at 10 in the morning after I consumed a large amount of alcohol.
Be serious, folks. Challenge studies are what they are but are not designed to mimic real life usage.
Take ADDYI before bed, AFTER you eat, drink and be "randy" and all will be well!!
Enjoy and thank you Sprout for breaking the glass ceiling and making it possible for women to start the conversation about their lack of desire and the stress it causes them.
HEAR ME SAY...if you are NOT bothered by your low desire, ADDYI is not for you.
If you are happy NOT having sex, ADDYI is not for you and no one is trying to guilt you into taking it.
If you are having relationship issues, physical ailments or stress is invading your life, ADDYI is not the right solution for you.
But if you are healthy, happy, content and have lost the desire to have sex that you once had AND you are bothered by it, see your doctor and perhaps ADDYI IS RIGHT for you.!
Happy Weekend!
http://app.criticalmention.com/app/#clip/view?15506203/token/3153cb70-373c-43af-aab1-0ccf10619de7
http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/sprout-ceo-on-fdas-approval-of-womens-sex-drug-addyi/
http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/fda-to-approve-first-female-viagra-filbanserin/55ce8f7c2b8c2ada6500094c
http://www.tennessean.com/story/money/industries/health-care/2015/08/19/pill-women-libido/31994653/
http://video.foxbusiness.com/v/4434626813001/female-viagra-saved-my-relationship/?#sp=show-clips
For your viewing and reading pleasure...a sampling of interviews and articles which will help you determine for yourself if the benefits of ADDYI outweigh the risks.
As a patient who took ADDYI for 9 months, it is my sincere belief that YES they DO!!
Women are responsible creatures, can be trusted to take medicine as directed!
Yes I am a social drinker and drank alcohol while on the trial.
Yes I took it AT BEDTIME as instructed.
No, I did not faint, throw up or get dizzy.
No, I did not take the pill at 10 in the morning after I consumed a large amount of alcohol.
Be serious, folks. Challenge studies are what they are but are not designed to mimic real life usage.
Take ADDYI before bed, AFTER you eat, drink and be "randy" and all will be well!!
Enjoy and thank you Sprout for breaking the glass ceiling and making it possible for women to start the conversation about their lack of desire and the stress it causes them.
HEAR ME SAY...if you are NOT bothered by your low desire, ADDYI is not for you.
If you are happy NOT having sex, ADDYI is not for you and no one is trying to guilt you into taking it.
If you are having relationship issues, physical ailments or stress is invading your life, ADDYI is not the right solution for you.
But if you are healthy, happy, content and have lost the desire to have sex that you once had AND you are bothered by it, see your doctor and perhaps ADDYI IS RIGHT for you.!
Happy Weekend!
http://app.criticalmention.com/app/#clip/view?15506203/token/3153cb70-373c-43af-aab1-0ccf10619de7
http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/sprout-ceo-on-fdas-approval-of-womens-sex-drug-addyi/
http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/fda-to-approve-first-female-viagra-filbanserin/55ce8f7c2b8c2ada6500094c
http://www.tennessean.com/story/money/industries/health-care/2015/08/19/pill-women-libido/31994653/
http://video.foxbusiness.com/v/4434626813001/female-viagra-saved-my-relationship/?#sp=show-clips
TGIF waiting for CWTO
After such a celebratory week, thank goodness it's Friday. But my new motto is CFTO - CAN'T WAIT TIL OCTOBER!!!! That's when ADDYI will be out!!
Here's a little weekend humor for you to see...enjoy!
#eventhescore - well, at least get on the board. The count is officially 26-1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si6AkWElc4g&feature=youtu.be
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Gentlemen, make that 26 to ONE!! ADDYI approved!
I texted my husband and said...it's gonna be a great winter to cozy up, Cowboy!! Lucky for him, he loves to hibernate under the covers with me and is a bear at heart! Even luckier that we will have the privilege of experiencing life WITHOUT HSDD again!
Today, after almost 5 years of exhaustive efforts, the FDA approved the first ever prescription drug therapy for women suffering from HSDD - Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder - ADDYI!!!
A moment in HERSTORY for millions of women who have experienced a loss of interest in sex, even when they deeply love their partner!
For the 9 or so months I took ADDYI (flibanserin), my interest in sex returned and I was an equally participative and initiating partner...much like I was for the first several years of our relationship.
No, nothing changed. I wasn't depressed. There was nothing physically wrong. We were emotionally strong and connected. We enjoyed romance and I was comfortable in my own skin - naked and clothed.
But one day, several years into our relationship, my desire to have sex left the building. When HE initiated, sex was great! But if he didn't start, "it" didn't happen.Thankfully, I came across the clinical trial for flibanserin! For those months, my desire was "normalized" to where it had been. Even more importantly, during that time, my husband and I began communicating about sex, interest and desire...the one area of life that previously had been left silent.
For us, ADDYI was relationship saving, life changing...and I hope every woman suffering with low desire and distress will not only consult their physician asap to see if you are living with HSDD but also communicate with your partner. Let them know that what your are experiencing is valid and treatable. Consider your options and choose a path that fits you best.
ADDYI worked for me...for us. I cannot begin to tell you how elated I am that the FDA finally has given it a green light and how forward I look to getting a prescription, heading to the pharmacy and reclaiming my desire!
I am so appreciative of all those who have supported this effort, who share my story and most importantly to my husband who has patiently understood and been by my side as I spoke passionately about this personal matter. He is the real hero, here. Something I will never forget!!
#womendeserve #HERSTORY #eventhescore #ADDYI
Today, after almost 5 years of exhaustive efforts, the FDA approved the first ever prescription drug therapy for women suffering from HSDD - Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder - ADDYI!!!
A moment in HERSTORY for millions of women who have experienced a loss of interest in sex, even when they deeply love their partner!
For the 9 or so months I took ADDYI (flibanserin), my interest in sex returned and I was an equally participative and initiating partner...much like I was for the first several years of our relationship.
No, nothing changed. I wasn't depressed. There was nothing physically wrong. We were emotionally strong and connected. We enjoyed romance and I was comfortable in my own skin - naked and clothed.
But one day, several years into our relationship, my desire to have sex left the building. When HE initiated, sex was great! But if he didn't start, "it" didn't happen.Thankfully, I came across the clinical trial for flibanserin! For those months, my desire was "normalized" to where it had been. Even more importantly, during that time, my husband and I began communicating about sex, interest and desire...the one area of life that previously had been left silent.
For us, ADDYI was relationship saving, life changing...and I hope every woman suffering with low desire and distress will not only consult their physician asap to see if you are living with HSDD but also communicate with your partner. Let them know that what your are experiencing is valid and treatable. Consider your options and choose a path that fits you best.
ADDYI worked for me...for us. I cannot begin to tell you how elated I am that the FDA finally has given it a green light and how forward I look to getting a prescription, heading to the pharmacy and reclaiming my desire!
I am so appreciative of all those who have supported this effort, who share my story and most importantly to my husband who has patiently understood and been by my side as I spoke passionately about this personal matter. He is the real hero, here. Something I will never forget!!
#womendeserve #HERSTORY #eventhescore #ADDYI
Doubting Desire?
After four long years, today is D DAY!! D E S I R E DAY!!
We are waiting today for the FDA approval of flibanserin - or ADDYI - for low desire in women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.
Yesterday, USA Today published this article and I was disheartened and offended by the COMMENTS submitted at the end...please log on and share your thoughts! Mostly men suggesting that filling women with tequila, buying us expensive shoes, handing us the credit card or wooing us with gifts will "do the trick".
It is sad they think we are so shallow or empty...I for one want to remember and be an active participant in sex with my husband so alcohol is not a desire booster for me!
Monetary gifts, while nice, certainly do not make my loins tingle!
Even words of affirmation, which I adore and are my primary love language, do not "turn my brain on" to want to have sex!
If any of those quick fixes did the trick, I surely would not be championing this approval.
For some, those may work. For me, they did not. Thus the need for a pharmacologic option like ADDYI!
Here's to a long and desire filled fall/winter in our house!!
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/08/16/fda-women-low-libido/31813999/
We are waiting today for the FDA approval of flibanserin - or ADDYI - for low desire in women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.
Yesterday, USA Today published this article and I was disheartened and offended by the COMMENTS submitted at the end...please log on and share your thoughts! Mostly men suggesting that filling women with tequila, buying us expensive shoes, handing us the credit card or wooing us with gifts will "do the trick".
It is sad they think we are so shallow or empty...I for one want to remember and be an active participant in sex with my husband so alcohol is not a desire booster for me!
Monetary gifts, while nice, certainly do not make my loins tingle!
Even words of affirmation, which I adore and are my primary love language, do not "turn my brain on" to want to have sex!
If any of those quick fixes did the trick, I surely would not be championing this approval.
For some, those may work. For me, they did not. Thus the need for a pharmacologic option like ADDYI!
Here's to a long and desire filled fall/winter in our house!!
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2015/08/16/fda-women-low-libido/31813999/
SPROUTing Desire-it is D Day!!
After years of blood, sweat and tears, today the FDA will issue the final decision on approval of flibanserin, or ADDYI!!
Here is a great journaling of the exhaustive but passionate road to approval!
🎉🎉🎉💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💗💗💗
http://m.fastcompany.com/3049926/the-female-viagra-is-coming-the-story-of-how-it-almost-never-happened
Here is a great journaling of the exhaustive but passionate road to approval!
🎉🎉🎉💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💗💗💗
http://m.fastcompany.com/3049926/the-female-viagra-is-coming-the-story-of-how-it-almost-never-happened
Friday, August 14, 2015
T Minus 4
So, here it is, T minus 4 days until FDA approval of flibanserin...the first drug for women to treat Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder!!
Many critics have argued throughout this journey about the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire.
For those that suffer from both, here is a snapshot of my weekend plans and what it is like to have HSDD.
Today my husband and I leave for Laguna Beach for a weekend getaway at the Montage...a fabulous resort on the beach and as perfect a setting as you can imagine for romance and desire.
As I pack my suitcase with skimpy bathing suits, sexy night attire and miscellaneous "tools of the trade", I am already aware that every piece will be in place to create "responsive" desire.
For years, spontaneous desire flowed easily. One thought of him, one text message, one phone call and I yearned to be with him. For the past several years, that has disappeared. Searching desperately to replace that spontaneous "oomph", we work overtime to create an environment which will trigger responsive desire. And this weekend is just one of many that satisfy the criteria for responsive desire.
Beautiful hotel with ocean front room, cool breeze blowing through the curtains, sun kissed beach beckoning our toes to the water, a nice glass of wine sipped on the balcony as we lazily get ready for dinner....what could possibly go wrong? Why would I NOT feel desire?
Because I have HSDD and in spite of all the triggers which would make any healthy woman salivate with desire, I will likely find myself participating "just because"...because I know once he starts I will arouse, because I love him more than life and want him to feel how much I love him and because I want desperately to want it!
Soon, and very soon, I will have access to ADDYI once again and this whole scenario will have a totally different flavor! Obligatory sex will return to initiative sex, spontaneous desire will return and all the normal "triggers" that boost desire will work as they once did.
How do I know this? Because I TOOK THE ADDYI for 8 months while on the clinical trial and it WORKED for me! I cannot tell you how elated we will both be when we can get back what we once had, what disappeared and what we both find so beautifully intimate and fulfilling....a mutually interactive and participative sex life!
Thank you for all who have supported this process and for anyone suffering with HSDD, your ship is about to come in!!
Stay tuned....
Many critics have argued throughout this journey about the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire.
For those that suffer from both, here is a snapshot of my weekend plans and what it is like to have HSDD.
Today my husband and I leave for Laguna Beach for a weekend getaway at the Montage...a fabulous resort on the beach and as perfect a setting as you can imagine for romance and desire.
As I pack my suitcase with skimpy bathing suits, sexy night attire and miscellaneous "tools of the trade", I am already aware that every piece will be in place to create "responsive" desire.
For years, spontaneous desire flowed easily. One thought of him, one text message, one phone call and I yearned to be with him. For the past several years, that has disappeared. Searching desperately to replace that spontaneous "oomph", we work overtime to create an environment which will trigger responsive desire. And this weekend is just one of many that satisfy the criteria for responsive desire.
Beautiful hotel with ocean front room, cool breeze blowing through the curtains, sun kissed beach beckoning our toes to the water, a nice glass of wine sipped on the balcony as we lazily get ready for dinner....what could possibly go wrong? Why would I NOT feel desire?
Because I have HSDD and in spite of all the triggers which would make any healthy woman salivate with desire, I will likely find myself participating "just because"...because I know once he starts I will arouse, because I love him more than life and want him to feel how much I love him and because I want desperately to want it!
Soon, and very soon, I will have access to ADDYI once again and this whole scenario will have a totally different flavor! Obligatory sex will return to initiative sex, spontaneous desire will return and all the normal "triggers" that boost desire will work as they once did.
How do I know this? Because I TOOK THE ADDYI for 8 months while on the clinical trial and it WORKED for me! I cannot tell you how elated we will both be when we can get back what we once had, what disappeared and what we both find so beautifully intimate and fulfilling....a mutually interactive and participative sex life!
Thank you for all who have supported this process and for anyone suffering with HSDD, your ship is about to come in!!
Stay tuned....
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
It's HUMP day!
Not only is today Wednesday, hump day for the week, but it also marks the final 6 days until FDA approval of the first ever women's prescription for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder!!!
WOOP WOOP
I cannot tell you how excited I am for next Tuesday! I have waited for 4 long years for FDA approval after having the luxury of being on the clinical trial for ADDYI!!
I recently ran across a petition to block FDA approval, sponsored by a group of asexuals, demisexuals and Grey-A's. If you don't know what they are, look it up...pretty interesting.
I was once again frustrated at the lengths to which people will go WHO DO NOT SUFFER from HSDD!!
None of the above 3 groups suffer from HSDD so I am left wondering why they are working to block approval? What are they afraid of and how are they so mis-informed and thoughtless with regards to those of us who do suffer from HSDD.
The notion that I only suffer or experience distress at my lack of desire because I am caving to the "social norm" or is offensive and ridiculous! I neither CARE what the "norm" in society is for frequency/quality of sex nor worry that I don't meet that "norm".
My distress is centered strictly on ME and my HUSBAND. Where I once was an active initiator and eager participant in sex, I now am an obligatory partner who rarely, if ever, initiates. The toll it has taken on me personally is dramatic...on our marriage profound!
It has nothing to do with what society says or doesn't say...just what I feel and what I miss...my desire.
Simply put, I want to want again. I enjoyed being frisky and initiating with my husband. Seeing his reaction to my desire fuels mine even more and the whole experience is intensified for us both! It is a WIN WIN situation for us both.
I could go on for days but to anyone trying to block approval, please DO NOT SPEAK for me or on my behalf. Don't assume that I am caving to societal norms or peer pressure.
My HSDD is real and Addyi made a significant difference when nothing else did.
WOOP WOOP
I cannot tell you how excited I am for next Tuesday! I have waited for 4 long years for FDA approval after having the luxury of being on the clinical trial for ADDYI!!
I recently ran across a petition to block FDA approval, sponsored by a group of asexuals, demisexuals and Grey-A's. If you don't know what they are, look it up...pretty interesting.
I was once again frustrated at the lengths to which people will go WHO DO NOT SUFFER from HSDD!!
None of the above 3 groups suffer from HSDD so I am left wondering why they are working to block approval? What are they afraid of and how are they so mis-informed and thoughtless with regards to those of us who do suffer from HSDD.
The notion that I only suffer or experience distress at my lack of desire because I am caving to the "social norm" or is offensive and ridiculous! I neither CARE what the "norm" in society is for frequency/quality of sex nor worry that I don't meet that "norm".
My distress is centered strictly on ME and my HUSBAND. Where I once was an active initiator and eager participant in sex, I now am an obligatory partner who rarely, if ever, initiates. The toll it has taken on me personally is dramatic...on our marriage profound!
It has nothing to do with what society says or doesn't say...just what I feel and what I miss...my desire.
Simply put, I want to want again. I enjoyed being frisky and initiating with my husband. Seeing his reaction to my desire fuels mine even more and the whole experience is intensified for us both! It is a WIN WIN situation for us both.
I could go on for days but to anyone trying to block approval, please DO NOT SPEAK for me or on my behalf. Don't assume that I am caving to societal norms or peer pressure.
My HSDD is real and Addyi made a significant difference when nothing else did.
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