T Minus 4

So, here it is, T minus 4 days until FDA approval of flibanserin...the first drug for women to treat Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder!!

Many critics have argued throughout this journey about the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire.

For those that suffer from both, here is a snapshot of my weekend plans and what it is like to have HSDD.

Today my husband and I leave for Laguna Beach for a weekend getaway at the Montage...a fabulous resort on the beach and as perfect a setting as you can imagine for romance and desire.

As I pack my suitcase with skimpy bathing suits, sexy night attire and miscellaneous "tools of the trade", I am already aware that every piece will be in place to create "responsive" desire.

For years, spontaneous desire flowed easily.  One thought of him, one text message, one phone call and I yearned to be with him.  For the past several years, that has disappeared.  Searching desperately to replace that spontaneous "oomph", we work overtime to create an environment which will trigger responsive desire.  And this weekend is just one of many that satisfy the criteria for responsive desire.  

Beautiful hotel with ocean front room, cool breeze blowing through the curtains, sun kissed beach beckoning our toes to the water, a nice glass of wine sipped on the balcony as we lazily get ready for dinner....what could possibly go wrong?  Why would I NOT feel desire?

Because I have HSDD and in spite of all the triggers which would make any healthy woman salivate with desire, I will likely find myself participating "just because"...because I know once he starts I will arouse, because I love him more than life and want him to feel how much I love him and because I want desperately to want it!

Soon, and very soon, I will have access to ADDYI once again and this whole scenario will have a totally different flavor!  Obligatory sex will return to initiative sex, spontaneous desire will return and all the normal "triggers" that boost desire will work as they once did.

How do I know this?  Because I TOOK THE ADDYI for 8 months while on the clinical trial and it WORKED for me!  I cannot tell you how elated we will both be when we can get back what we once had, what disappeared and what we both find so beautifully intimate and fulfilling....a mutually interactive and participative sex life!

Thank  you for all who have supported this process and for anyone suffering with HSDD, your ship is about to come in!!

Stay tuned....